Milestones

Human nature is a funny thing. The desire that we have to categorize, classify, quantify, and measure everything around us in order to make sense of the world intrigues me. Even more so now that I have a child with special needs.

Milestones for kids are a prime example. I've lived on both ends of the spectrum and it has been an eye opening experience the second time around.

When Cole was a baby, I found myself feeling like each well-baby check was scheduled for the soul purpose of keeping up on his immunizations. It always seemed like the rest was just arbitrary. The questionnaires on milestones never seemed to make much sense. I always found myself thinking "Well of course he can do that."

This time around I find myself dreading each appointment when the nurse, that never takes the time to scan our file, starts asking the same generic questions and I'm sitting there thinking "No, no, no, no - he can't do any of those things. Maybe if you pull out the 6 month checklist I might be able to answer yes to something. Can you just get the doctor, he knows who we are."

It's not fun, I'll tell you that much, to feel like each visit you're giving your child a failing grade and they don't even have an opportunity to share what they CAN do. In fact, today was a BIG day and it is very exciting. Today he started babbling with a consonant sound "da, da".

I know that all parents are excited when their children hit a new milestone. But, to be honest, although I was really excited with all of Cole's milestones, that first year they came so often and so fast it was almost hard to keep up with all of the excitement. With Xander, I find myself appreciating each milestone so much more, because they don't come fast, they don't come easy, and they don't come often.

If you don't have a child with special needs or you haven't spent much time around kids with disabilities, I'd like to equate it to the diet from hell. You know that moment, when you feel like you've been working your tail off, going to the gym for at least an hour a day, eating all the right things, and living the lifestyle your trainer has been encouraging, yet week after week the scale doesn't budge. You're stuck on a plateau and it is hard to stay motivated, because you feel like you'll never get over the hump.

That's life with a special needs child. Everyday you find yourself on that plateau, working hard to see some sort of improvement or change. Yet, most days, when you jump on the scale, even if you have put in that extra effort for the last week and you skipped dessert every night, the number is always the same.

So, the days when the number does change, even if only by a quarter of a pound. Those are days to celebrate! So, today we will celebrate with Xander and rejoice in the "da, da, da" sound that is echoing through the house!!