Milestones

Human nature is a funny thing. The desire that we have to categorize, classify, quantify, and measure everything around us in order to make sense of the world intrigues me. Even more so now that I have a child with special needs.

Milestones for kids are a prime example. I've lived on both ends of the spectrum and it has been an eye opening experience the second time around.

When Cole was a baby, I found myself feeling like each well-baby check was scheduled for the soul purpose of keeping up on his immunizations. It always seemed like the rest was just arbitrary. The questionnaires on milestones never seemed to make much sense. I always found myself thinking "Well of course he can do that."

This time around I find myself dreading each appointment when the nurse, that never takes the time to scan our file, starts asking the same generic questions and I'm sitting there thinking "No, no, no, no - he can't do any of those things. Maybe if you pull out the 6 month checklist I might be able to answer yes to something. Can you just get the doctor, he knows who we are."

It's not fun, I'll tell you that much, to feel like each visit you're giving your child a failing grade and they don't even have an opportunity to share what they CAN do. In fact, today was a BIG day and it is very exciting. Today he started babbling with a consonant sound "da, da".

I know that all parents are excited when their children hit a new milestone. But, to be honest, although I was really excited with all of Cole's milestones, that first year they came so often and so fast it was almost hard to keep up with all of the excitement. With Xander, I find myself appreciating each milestone so much more, because they don't come fast, they don't come easy, and they don't come often.

If you don't have a child with special needs or you haven't spent much time around kids with disabilities, I'd like to equate it to the diet from hell. You know that moment, when you feel like you've been working your tail off, going to the gym for at least an hour a day, eating all the right things, and living the lifestyle your trainer has been encouraging, yet week after week the scale doesn't budge. You're stuck on a plateau and it is hard to stay motivated, because you feel like you'll never get over the hump.

That's life with a special needs child. Everyday you find yourself on that plateau, working hard to see some sort of improvement or change. Yet, most days, when you jump on the scale, even if you have put in that extra effort for the last week and you skipped dessert every night, the number is always the same.

So, the days when the number does change, even if only by a quarter of a pound. Those are days to celebrate! So, today we will celebrate with Xander and rejoice in the "da, da, da" sound that is echoing through the house!!

Return to Sutter

December is such a crazy time of year for our family. It's hard to keep up with all the celebrations, birthdays, TDYs and deployments!

Last week we celebrated both Xander's 1st birthday and Cole's 3rd birthday with friends. Both kids had a blast and their friends did too. Unfortunately, Daddy missed the celebration as he was stuck in Guam with a broken airplane.

Although it was stressful and I know he wanted to be there, I almost had to laugh. It seems like no matter what the plan, there is always something that prevents him from being present during big events.

I mean it was just last year that he missed Xander's birth because he was TDY. Now this year he missed Xander's birthday, the birthday party for both boys, and since he left on another trip this morning, he will be missing Cole's birthday tomorrow...

In fact, I had to take a picture of Courtney and Xander at the birthday party, because although Nic missed both Xander's birth and his 1st birthday party, Courtney was here for both!!

Here's to good friends and being an Air Force wife!!

I am grateful, however, that Nic was here yesterday for Xander's surgery.

We've known this surgery was coming for the past year to correct a birth defect. In fact, we had to reschedule it once because Xander was sick with a fever and I didn't want him to be put under if he wasn't healthy to begin with. The rescheduled date of early December just so happened to coincide with the exact time frame we spent in the NICU last year.

Not that any surgery is an easy thing for a parent to see their child endure, but my feeling of uneasiness was increased tenfold from what I had imagined it would be simply because once we were at Sutter Memorial, sitting in a waiting room directly below the NICU and walking the same hallways we lived in for what seemed like ages last year, I couldn't help but feel a huge sense of dread. I was so scared that we were going to wind-up right back upstairs.

Thankfully, that didn't happen. The surgery went well and we were able to bring Xander home shortly after. I'm happy to say that although he's dealing with some pain and discomfort, he's doing as well as can be expected today and we can't wait for Daddy to get back home so we can celebrate another belated birthday and spend Christmas together (fingers crossed).

Hurry Home Daddy, WE LOVE YOU!