Kids being Kids

It's so hard to find the time to sit down and write. It always seems as though I'm being pulled in a million different directions and my to-do list multiplies by the hour. Therefore, writing inevitably gets stuck way up on the high dusty shelf in the back of the closet.

But, right now Nic has taken Cole golfing - in which he's having the time of his life with his dad - and both Ella and Xander have finally fallen asleep, after my 3 mile run with the stroller attempt failed to settle them into a slumber earlier.

The house is quiet - besides the laundry turning in the dryer and the hum of this laptop, there is other noise... ahhh - my time to reflect and update everyone.

So, here's the chemo update:

Round 3 of Nic's chemotherapy was this week. It hit him pretty hard and although he hasn't been sick, he's getting more and more fatigued with each treatment. Which, we're now officially halfway done!! (can I get a whoop whoop?)

In two weeks we'll go in for another PET scan and then we will get those results at our next chemo treatment in 3 weeks. Nic seems pretty nervous about the whole thing and although I find myself going there from time to time, I am doing my best to remind him and myself that nerves won't help anything. It is what it is and whatever that may be, we'll deal with it and/or celebrate when the time comes. So, prayers again that everything is going as planned, shrinking and disappearing.

The silver lining in all of this, because I always like to find the good in things. I mean, honestly, what fun is life if you concentrate on all the hardships and struggles - so the good for me is that Nic is around. He can't fly, so he's not going on trips or deploying. Although he's still working hard and sometimes long hours, he's home on the weekends and every third week when he's getting chemo he takes a day or two off after to recover. So, although he's tired, I think the kids and I have seen more of him and spent more time as a family in the last few months that we ever have. It's nice.

It's funny though, with more time spent together, interesting things have come to my attention. Lately, it's been our different styles of parenting. It makes me thankful that he's not a stay at home dad, because talk about being a helicopter parent - O. M. G.

You would think that I just turn my kids loose in the amazon with raging rivers running next to their unbuckled car seats surrounded by raw meat to attract the predators. Ok, so it might not be that bad, but seriously.

I know that I'm a tad more lax than some parents. I'm certainly not a hover parent of any sort. But, I think it's important to expose my kids to some level of risk.

Do I want them to get hurt? Of course not, well not badly. But, I expect them to get the bumps and bruises and scrapes that come along with childhood. How else are they going to learn what they can and can't do. And how else are they going to overcome their fears and develop a healthy sense of caution?

I feel like parents, too often, are too overprotective and kids don't have the opportunity to experience a healthy dose of fear and danger. And that's where Nic and I differ - it's understandably gotten worse since the cancer diagnosis. He basically wants to limit any and all unnecessary risk to the family.

But, in a way, it's almost humorous, because my gosh they're kids and there's inherent danger in everything they do, in everything we all do for that matter. Yes, there's a lot on our plates right now and there's no need to push the limits - I can respect that. But for the record, some of the "limits" are just a tad ridiculous.

Anyhow - we will agree to disagree on a few things, and I will confess that I'm the parent at the park who's not following my 1 year old up the stairs and holding her hand as she peeks over the edges - ok, so she did loose her balance on one of the those suspension bridge things yesterday and rolled off the side, but she landed in bark, on her shoulder, and after a quick cry was just fine. No harm done.

What I'm saying is, I did that and probably worse when I was her age - because we didn't have parks - so we climbed and ran across things that weren't nearly as safe - and we survived. Somehow, we survived and in that childhood, we found ourselves, our identities, and our limits.

So, although I respect Nic's parenting and his desire to mitigate risk - I also think that it's important as a parent to step back and just let kids be kids.

On that note, here's to summer, kids being kids, half of chemo under our belts, and a husband who will someday forgive me for not being a helicopter mom!!!

Love you honey ;)